


Festive Hibernation

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-19 21:31:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13132635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Barbara hates Christmas... Tommy tries to change her mind...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC... no copyright infringement intended

Barbara made sure that everyone she crossed paths with knew that she hated Christmas. 

If there was a shift that needed covering so that someone could attend their child’s nativity play or school concert, then that person concerned knew exactly who to ask. During the festive season Barbara would willingly work all the hours that god sent and then some. I knew why.

The last Christmas that Barbara had been planning to celebrate was the one when her brother had died.

She had told me about it once, back at the start of our partnership. They had thought that he was improving, and that he would be able to come home, the doctors had given them hope that he was turning a corner.

But the hope was false, Terry died, and Barbara and her family didn’t celebrate Christmas that year. 

The year passed, but the wounds caused by Terry’s death didn’t heal. They grew deeper, festering with neglect. None of them talked about what had happened, they couldn’t, and so when Christmas came around again they all chose to ignore it.

As the years ticked by the elephant in the room grew bigger, and still they didn’t address it. Barbara battled with trying to hold what remained of her family together while also trying to live a life of her own. Her resentment and anger grew as she did her best not to buckle under the weight of her responsibilities.

And then she met me. 

I’d like to think that our partnership and subsequent friendship changed things. I did my best to be there for her, to support her, and help her. Sometimes I got it wrong and, more often than not I leant on her far more than she did me, which is why I wanted this Christmas to be different for her.

That and I had fallen in love with her. I hoped that spending Christmas together would set the scene and provide me with the opportunity to let her know just how much she meant to me.

I had made sure that we would both be off shift, spreading the word that no one was to ask her to swap or cover theirs. The closer the day drew the more antsy she became, and with that her grip on her temper was tenuous.

It was Christmas Eve. Barbara and I had been stuck in traffic on the A1(M) for over an hour, and it was doing nothing to improve her mood. The day had started off badly as it was; her shower had decided that it would only run cold, so when I had collected her that morning she had been shivering and miserable. Her misery had increased when Evans had decided that we needed to go to Stevenage to interview someone.

“The perfect bloody end to a perfect bloody day!”

I glanced over at her, “you had something else planned?”

“Tracking down a plumber who won’t charge like a wounded bull, and then, as I’ve somehow ended up being off shift until January, I was going to bury my head under the duvet and not come out again until Twelfth Night!””

“That doesn’t sound particularly festive.”

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Her response was a glare that could have frozen Niagara Falls.

“That was the general idea.”

“Why don’t you come back to mine tonight? We can have something to eat, a few beers to wash it down, and then tomorrow, if you are still sure that you don’t want to do anything remotely festive I’ll drop you home and you can begin your hibernation.”

“I won’t be good company. You’ll regret making that offer.”

“It sounds to me as if you want to say yes.”

“I do, but it would be better for me to say no and go into festive hibernation, otherwise all I’ll do is ruin your holiday.”

“You won’t.”

“Well, if you are sure.”

“I’m positive.”

“Then I’m saying yes, with the proviso that if I begin to drag you down so much that you need to find respite in a whiskey bottle you’ll tell me to leave.”

“That won’t happen.”

“Promise me or I’ll go straight home. That’s if we ever move from this spot before Easter.”

I smiled at her, “you have a deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Apologies for the delay in posting this_

Tommy seemed pleased that I had agreed to spend what remained of Christmas Eve with him, disproportionately pleased if I were being honest, but that was something I didn’t want to dwell on because then I would have to take a long hard look at why I had been so easily persuaded to agree to his suggestion.

We finally pulled up outside his townhouse at 8pm. I scrambled from the car before he had switched off the engine, desperate to get the blood moving in my limbs and to wake up my numb bum. As I stretched out Tommy leant on the roof of the Bristol and watched me.

“Do you normally do outdoor aerobics on Christmas Eve?”

I poked my tongue out at him, “we’ve been stuck in that car since half four. The bits of me that haven’t got cramp are numb, I’m actually surprised I can move at all.”

He quirked an eyebrow at me, “imagine how uncomfortable we would both be if we’d been stuck in your car.”

“I shall remember that next time you need a lift anywhere.”

It was his turn to stick out his tongue, which resulted in us both having a fit of the giggles. When we calmed down he slung his arm around my shoulder and guided me towards the front door.

“Now that we’ve provided my neighbours with a Christmas Eve floor show, can we move inside out of the cold?”

“Yes, unless you were lying about the food and beers part of the proceedings.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Good, because if you were I’d have to arrest you.”

“As tempting as that sounds, I think I’d rather just get you fed.”

“Then lead me to the food.”

Tommy steered me through the door and down the hall to the kitchen. Dumping our coats over the back of a kitchen chair, he made his way to the fridge.

“What do you fancy?”

I bit my lip so that I didn’t say anything inappropriate like ‘how about you’. I hoped it looked like I was giving his question serious consideration.

“Hmmm, that depends on what you have to work with.”

“I have more to offer than toast.”

This time the words ‘you definitely do’ ran through my head, but once again I didn’t give voice to them.

“There’s nothing wrong with toast, if toast is what you fancy at the time.” I felt myself blush. What the hell was wrong with me? While I had got used to having these kinds of thoughts around Tommy, I didn’t usually flirt and banter with him quite so blatantly. I took a deep breath and then moved to his side by the open fridge. “So, what have you got that’s edible?”

“That could be a difficult question to answer as you and I have widely differing definitions on what is classed as edible.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself Sir, you’re getting much braver with your food choices these days.”

His response was to playfully jab me in the ribs with his elbow.

“I’m pleased to see that your mood has improved.”

I stepped away from him, “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been behaving.” 

He closed the fridge and turned to face me. “You don’t have to apologise Barbara, I understand completely.”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to agree to whatever the hell it is we’re doing.”

“I told you Barbara, I understand.”

“But you shouldn’t need to!”

“We’re friends.”

“Sometimes I wish we weren’t.” I saw his face fall and hurried to apologise, “it’s not because I don’t care about you, you know that I do, but I also know that I am not the easiest person to be around. I fly off the handle at the slightest thing, I grouch at you. Your life would be…”

“A complete nightmare if I didn’t have you in it. Barbara, don’t you know by now how important you are to me?”

“I guess so, although I don’t really get why.”

He held out his hand to me, “come and sit with me, we need to talk.”

I let him take my hand and lead me through to the lounge where he tugged me down next to him on the couch.

“I need to tell you something, something I should have told you a long time ago.”

I looked at him with concern, “what’s wrong Sir?”

“There’s nothing wrong, I just owe you the truth.”

“About what?”

“About how I feel when I’m with you, about how much you mean to me, about how much I love you.”

“You what?”

“Love you. I have done for years, I was just too scared to say anything.”

“You don’t love me, no one loves me.”

“They do, I do. I know you won’t believe me Barbara, but I’ve been in love with you for years. I treat you badly and you are there. I need a friend and you are there. You are always there for me, even when I am at my most unbearable. I don’t deserve you, but I am glad that you are by my side, and I’m hoping that you feel the same way.”

“Do you know how long I have wanted to hear you say those words? All the time you were with Helen I was safe, I could keep my feelings for you hidden, but then she left you. I was so angry with her, but it wasn’t my place to say anything. I thought that things were developing between us, that perhaps you were beginning to see me as someone other than your ever-reliable sergeant. But then she came back, and I realised that I was wrong.”

“You weren’t the one who was wrong, I was. I thought that I had to give things another try, that I owed her.”

“I’m not the kind of person who gets the happily ever after, and I’m okay with that. You don’t have to try and placate me or make me feel better.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. Bloody hell Barbara, why is it so hard for you to believe that I am in love with you?”

“Don’t shout at me Tommy!”

“You called me Tommy.”

“I’m sorry Sir.”

“I’ve been waiting for over ten years to hear you say my name, please don’t revert to calling me sir.”

“This is wrong. I should go.”

I went to stand, and is was then that I realised he was still holding my hand. I tried to free it, but he just gripped it harder.

“No, you should stay. This is right Barbara. You and I, it’s the only thing that ever has been.”

“I don’t fit in your world, I’m not what you need.”

“You do fit, you’re my perfect fit.”

“Barbara Havers will never be suitable countess material, and you’re fooling yourself if you think otherwise.”

“You need to stop selling yourself short. I love you Barbara, and I’m going to keep telling you until you believe me…”


	3. Chapter 3

I was trying hard not to get angry with Barbara, but it was testing me to my limits. When we had first met she had a very low opinion of herself, something that had improved with each passing year of our partnership, however she now appeared to have regressed.

“Barbara Havers will never be suitable countess material, and you’re fooling yourself if you think otherwise.”

I took a deep breath before responding. “You need to stop selling yourself short. I love you Barbara, and I’m going to keep telling you until you believe me.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Repeatedly telling me that you are in love with me is not going to convince me.”

“Then what will, because I will do whatever it takes?”

“You and I, being friends works. We both know our place, known where the line is and not to cross it. If we give in to what we feel, if we add romantic feelings into the mix, things will be more complicated. I do love you Tommy, enough to know that I am not what you need. I can be your friend. I can be there for you as I always have been, you can call on me, rely on me, I will always have your back, I just can’t be your lover.”

“Why are you so sure you know what I need?”

“Because you have a type, and I am so far removed from that type there is no way that I can possibly be what you need.”

“My type as you call it, was what I thought I was supposed to choose. I’m not the man I was when we first met, just as you are not the same woman. If I had been in possession of half an ounce of common sense I would never have married Helen, or flirted with Christine, or slept with Julia. You are the only woman I want, and if I can’t have you then…”

“Then what?”

“Then I won’t have anyone.”

“Don’t be so ridiculous.”

“I’m not, I’m being honest. It might have escaped your notice, but I haven’t dated anyone since I was stupid and slept with Julia. I love you Barbara, and if I can’t have you then, as I said, I won’t have anyone.”

She stopped trying to get away and relaxed back into the seat. I took that as a positive sign.

“You don’t do well on your own Tommy. Me, well I’m used to getting by on my tod, but you aren’t. You need someone.”

I reached up and cradled her face in my hands, “the only someone I need is you. I’m prepared to wait forever if that is how long it takes.”

She closed her eyes and leant into my touch, “I’ve been in love with you for such a long time, but this is wrong on so many levels. You’re going to wake up tomorrow and wonder what the hell you were thinking.”

“No, I’m going to wake up tomorrow with you lying in my arms, and all I will be able to think is how much I love you and how I want to wake up the same way for the rest of our lives.”

A lazy smile crossed her face, and hope began to spark inside of me.

“I take it we’re sharing a bed tonight then.”

The spark of hope became a flame. “Any objections?”

“None that I can think of right now.”

“Good.”

“Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.”

“You don’t need to ask me twice…”

I had no idea why I had surrendered quite so easily. One moment I was telling Tommy he was mad and the next we were kissing while tearing off each other’s clothes. Finally naked, he rolled on top of me.

“Are you sure this is what you want? If you want me to stop then…”

I reached down and guided him inside of me. He closed his eyes and swallowed deeply, before slowly beginning to move.

“I’ve dreamed of this for so long.”

“Have you Tommy?”

“God yes, but my dreams never came close.”

“One day I’m going to get you to tell me all about them, but not now.”

“Definitely not now…”

At some point Barbara and I moved proceedings from the couch to my bedroom. We hadn’t got all that much sleep, but I wasn’t complaining, and I didn’t think she was either.

“You’re thinking again Tommy.”

I smiled and kissed her shoulder, “only about you, and how lucky I am to have you in my life and in my bed.”

“Yeah, funnily enough I’m having similar thoughts about you.”

“Marry me Barbara.”

“After just one night of hot and steamy sex; are you sure?”

“After over ten years of knowing you, in addition to one night of hot and steamy sex; yes, I am sure.”

“Well, when you put it like that, yes Tommy, I will marry you.”

The expression on his face said way more than words ever could. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply, before rolling us so that I was on top of him. He slid his hands over my shoulders, down my arms until they settled on my hips, his thumbs caressing my skin.

“You are so beautiful.”

“Except for my scars.”

“Including your scars. That case was the first time I realised how much you meant to me; more than a colleague, more than a friend. When you were shot, I was more scared of losing you than I ever was of losing Helen. When Garrett held you hostage, holding you in my arms, feeling you scared and trembling, I swore that I would never let anyone hurt you again.”

“And you haven’t.”

“Conrad McCaffrey ring any bells.”

“You couldn’t know what he had planned. I didn’t know that the belt was going to be in plain sight.”

“And then, even worse than Conrad, there was the pain that I caused you. I can never make that up to you, and I can never forgive myself for hurting you.”

I bent down and kissed him hard, “I forgive you.”

“Honestly?”

“Honestly. I’ve never meant anything more…”


	4. Chapter 4

I put a plate of sandwiches on the table and then curled up on the couch next to Barbara.

“You know, I’m beginning to think that this festive hibernation thing is a good idea. Food, no need to get dressed, no reason to go out; this could become a regular thing.”

“As much as I like the sound of that, I don’t see your mother agreeing.”

“Mother doesn’t get any say in how I celebrate Christmas with my soon to be wife.” I knew I sounded bitter but I didn't care.

“You have responsibilities.”

“Only to you.”

“What about Howenstow and Nanrunnel? I don’t want you to ignore your duties as Lord Asherton.”

“You are the most important person in my life.”

“As you are to me, but I understand that you have other obligations, which means we need to compromise on certain things. I love the person you are Tommy, I don’t want you to change.”

“I’m sorry Barbara.”

She pressed her finger to my lips, “Shush, don’t apologise. We can festively hibernate on alternate years; one year we go to Howenstow and do whatever it is we need to do, one year we hide away at home and become completely antisocial.”

“This is what I meant about me not having half an ounce of common sense!”

“I’ve worked with you for over ten years, I’ve seen plenty of examples of your lack of common sense.”

“And yet you still love me.”

“Yeah, I do. We’re a team Tommy, and we’ll work this out the same way we have worked out everything else.”

“You mean I make a suggestion, and then you tell me that I’m an idiot and come up with a better one?”

“That’s exactly what I mean. See, we’re compromising already.”

I tugged her onto my lap and held her close, “and good things happen when we compromise.”

“So I am discovering.” She leant forward, her lips stopping a few inches from mine. “Take me back to bed Tommy.”

“I thought you were hungry, I made sandwiches.” My protestations were half-hearted, I wanted her as much as she wanted me.

“I know you did, but funnily enough the only thing I have an appetite for right now is you.”

“Is keeping me in bed another aspect of our festive hibernation?”

“You’ve got it in one. Are you complaining?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Then take me to bed. With the amount of repressed passion we’ve got to work through we might well be in bed until Easter at least.”

Standing, I hoisted her over my shoulder. Ignoring her yelp of surprise, I headed for the stairs.

“When you put it like that festive hibernation is sounding more attractive than ever.”

“I knew I’d convert you to my way of thinking.”

“You always do.”


End file.
